Without being aware of it, we often become slave of the one(s) whom we draw and inspire our identity from. They may be our idol, one celebrity, our confident or one member of our family or may be someone we just admire very much. Of course, we know they are not perfect as noone in the world does but to us, they are lovely as well as all their job, all words they say, how they eat or even how they behave.
Starting from there then we become to imitate them. It’s Okay if we imitate good things but otherwise… Yet, the worst is to come when we get acquainted to the person.
First, we always blindly accept what they tell us believing they are always right and that they really are good hearted persons for having given us the opportunity to accomplish important things (at least to us because we have to remember these people are our idols). And if they ask us some favors, we immediately begin to accomplish them without taking time to weigh the pros and the cons. We tend to think it’s for our benefits if they made us do so (at least most of the time). We should know that the majority of humman beings always have their own benefits from the tasks they make you do ether they pay you for it or not. Yet 98% of the time, their own benefits are more than yours.
Then we become to think we are iddle if ever we come to fail at something. We blame ourselves for not having achieved or for not having finished on time what we’ve been asked to do.
Besides, we tend to live according to our idols’ humor. For example they’ve had bad time somewhere and they just pass before us without saying hello, we think they’ve done it on purpose because we failed in doing his/her favors.
To conclude, what I can say is that we have to take control of our life, feelings and all that concern us. It’s good to have some models and someone whom we admire so as to become greater than that person later. Yet, we always are well served by ourselves and that our identity is nowhere else than deep inside of us. Let’s try to imitate only what is necessary and find the rest by ourself.
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This is a very interesting point Karenichia. I think we tend to form our identity the most when we are around the age of 16 - 20. We are probably most influenced by our friends, but also by what we experience in movies, television, and books. I agree with you, though - the truest way of forming our own identity is discovering it ourselves.
Although I’ve not traced back when have I really taken control of my character (I suspect it’s a long-journey that lasts all my life), I think it’s not always easy to be objective enough so as to be able to say by yourself: it’s over, I want to take control of my life. I agree with Karenechia’s point, but I think we also need the help of people we trust to convince us that we’re definitely the shadows of our idols and that we might consider existing by ourselves.